Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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