thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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