dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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