She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
