turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
