Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
