it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
