i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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