is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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