I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
