Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
