butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
