someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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