well you can't waste a boner
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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