just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
