I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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