some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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