A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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