yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You don't make any sense
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