dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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