Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
