Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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