I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
