How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
