Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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