I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
