there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
