so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
