My hand turned me down
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well I just put wine in my tea
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
