My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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