Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
