Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
