You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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