There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
