I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
