Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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