If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
