doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
