I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize