Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i think im in europe. pls send help
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
