Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize