how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So gin and wine won't be happening again
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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