everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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