We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
