He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
