those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize