What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
you had me at cake vodka
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize