he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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