we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
