if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
