she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
