once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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