New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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