Me. At least after what I've been through.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize