tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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