Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
