I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
