On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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