We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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