I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
