How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
