So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
