I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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